Being Welcomed Is a Moment. Belonging Takes Longer.
Think about the last time you walked into a room where you did not know anyone. Perhaps it was a neighborhood gathering, your first day at a new job or a class you had finally found the courage to try.
A friendly greeting probably helped. But when did you begin to feel comfortable? When someone remembered your name? When another person invited you into the conversation? When you realized you could be yourself?
Welcome begins with an interaction. Belonging grows through what happens afterward.
That distinction is worth considering in November, when invitations, gatherings and expressions of gratitude fill our calendars. Even amid the activity of the holiday season, being surrounded by people does not necessarily mean feeling connected to them.
Most of us can recall a time when we were included in an invitation but struggled to find our place once we arrived. We may also remember the person who changed that experience by pulling up a chair, asking a thoughtful question or introducing us to someone with a shared interest.
Those gestures can stay with us because they answer a deeply personal question: Is there a place for me here?
Research reinforces the importance of that question. The U.S. Surgeon General’s 2023 advisory on social connection describes relationships as an important influence on our health and well-being. It calls for strengthening connections through everyday relationships and the places where people come together. Connection is something we all have a part in creating.
Often, it begins with familiarity. The neighbor we once waved to becomes someone we stop to talk with. The person we recognize from an exercise class becomes a walking partner. A fellow parent on the sidelines becomes someone we can call when we need help.
These relationships usually develop through ordinary moments repeated over time. We learn a little more about one another. We remember what someone told us. We follow up. Gradually, a familiar place becomes a place where we feel known.
At the YMCA, we have an opportunity to see how a shared activity can open the door to those relationships. People may first come to swim, exercise or find an activity for their children. Over time, the people they meet can become an important part of why they return. The same possibility exists in libraries, parks, congregations, neighborhood groups and countless other gathering places across Greater Cleveland.
Each of us can help turn that possibility into someone’s experience.
We can make room in a conversation instead of staying within our familiar circle. We can invite a new neighbor to join us for a walk. We can ask someone we have not seen recently how they are doing, then take time to listen to the answer.
A specific invitation can make taking the first step easier. “Come with me on Saturday” gives someone a companion and a plan. Following up afterward gives that connection a chance to grow.
It also helps to remember that people arrive with circumstances we may not see. Someone may be grieving, adjusting to retirement, recovering from an illness or starting over in a new community. A person who seems hesitant may welcome another invitation. Curiosity and patience give us a chance to understand rather than assume.
Belonging also grows when we have something to contribute. Asking a neighbor for advice, inviting someone to share a skill or making space for another person’s ideas communicates that their presence matters. We all want opportunities to give as well as receive.
As Thanksgiving approaches, many of us will reflect on the people and places that have made a difference in our lives. Often, what we remember is how someone treated us: they listened, encouraged us, made room for us or noticed when we were gone.
We can offer that same experience to someone else, during the holidays and in the ordinary weeks that follow.
A welcome can happen in a moment. Belonging grows when we keep making room for one another. Who could you help feel a greater sense of belonging and what could you do this week to begin?