What Leaders Can Learn from How Kids Build Confidence

Confidence is something most leaders value deeply, yet many misunderstand how it actually develops.

In workplaces, we often treat confidence as a prerequisite: speak up once you’re confident, take the risk when you’re ready, lead when you feel certain. But anyone who has spent time around children knows that confidence doesn’t work that way. Kids don’t wait to feel confident before trying something new. They become confident because they try.

This distinction matters more than ever.

Across our communities, our YMCA of Greater Cleveland Youth Development staff work with thousands of children each year through camps, child care, sports programs and other youth activities. While these programs may look different on the surface, they share a common purpose: helping kids grow into confident, capable individuals.

What we see every day in these settings offers a powerful lesson for leaders everywhere.

Confidence Is Built Through Action, Not Assurance

At the YMCA, kids are encouraged to try before they’re sure they can succeed.

• A child practices swimming skills with an instructor before they see themselves as a swimmer.
• A camper practices leadership in a supportive setting before confidence has fully formed.
• A young athlete learns coordination, teamwork and resilience through practice—not perfection.

Confidence follows experience, not the other way around.

Failure is expected. Support is constant. Progress is celebrated.

Adults, by contrast, often reverse this process. As responsibilities increase and stakes feel higher, experimentation feels riskier. Mistakes feel more consequential. Over time, many people begin to equate confidence with certainty.

But what youth development teaches us is this: confidence is not a trait you summon, it’s an outcome shaped by the environment you’re in.

Belonging Comes Before Confidence

One of the most overlooked drivers of confidence is belonging.

In YMCA programs, kids take risks because they feel safe. They know they are part of a community that values effort, learning and inclusion. That sense of belonging gives them the courage to try new things, even when the outcome is uncertain.

The same dynamic applies in organizations.

When people feel they belong, to a team, a mission or a culture, they are far more likely to stretch themselves. They speak up sooner. They attempt leadership behaviors earlier. They grow faster.

Without belonging, confidence becomes performative. People may appear confident, but they are often protecting themselves rather than developing.

Leaders who understand this focus less on projecting confidence and more on cultivating connection. They build cultures where people know they are valued not just for results, but for who they are and how they grow.

Growth Requires Permission to Struggle

Another lesson reinforced every day in YMCA youth programs is the normalization of struggle.

Kids expect learning to be messy. They know it takes time to master a skill, whether it’s swimming a lap, learning a new sport or navigating friendships. Struggle isn’t a sign of failure—it’s part of the process.

Many adult environments don’t offer the same permission.

We reward polished outcomes, not visible learning. We celebrate expertise, not progress. Over time, this creates cultures where people feel pressure to appear capable at all times—even when they’re learning something new.

But growth without struggle is an illusion.

Leaders who want confident teams must model learning themselves. They must be willing to admit what they don’t know, share what they’re working on and demonstrate that development doesn’t stop at any title or level.

Reframing Confidence for Today’s Leaders

Perhaps the most important lesson from youth development is this: confidence doesn’t precede opportunity—it follows it.

At the YMCA, we don’t wait for kids to be confident before giving them responsibility. We give them opportunities—paired with encouragement, guidance and trust—and confidence grows as a result.

The same approach applies to leadership.

When leaders create environments that combine belonging, challenge and support, confidence becomes accessible to more people. Teams become more resilient. Organizations become more adaptable. And individuals grow in ways that last.

Kids show us every day how confidence really develops. The YMCA has the privilege of witnessing it firsthand. For leaders navigating uncertainty and change, it’s a lesson worth carrying forward.